2009! It is finally here! I think there are a lot of people ready to kiss 2008 goodbye. Our family is hoping 2009 is a year of positive change. We sometimes joked about how the year 2008 couldn't possibly get any worse. But, the realization is that things can always get worse! So, I am trying to focus on the positive things in our lives. And, when I sometimes slip back into my doom and gloom mode, I have to find a way to remind myself of all the blessings I truly have in my life.
I follow some Caring Bridge websites. These are websites of people (mainly kids) who are struggling daily with diseases and are in the fight of their lives. My kids know I always cry when one of these kids passes away. These amazing kids are such heroes. The strength these families show is nothing but miraculous. What could possibly be worse than watching your child suffer? Can you imagine the inner turmoil a parent must feel while watching their child leave this earth? No more suffering means losing your child. This has to be the hardest thing a person could ever live through.
One of the girls that I keep up with is Marin. I learned of her brain tumor several years ago while she was a student at Collins Hill High School. Her family moved to Washington state, but her friends and family keep up with her through her Caring Bridge site. She has suffered from a brain tumor for almost four years now. She was an awesome swimmer, and she actually got to participate in the Special Olympics in China just this past summer. I read this heartbreaking post made by her mother yesterday. Marin's time is almost up. I will copy and paste:
Our dear little Marin is still breathing yet slipping away slowly, hour by hour. Her pain medications have been over doubled in the last two days. She rarely opens her eyes yet when she does, she has looked at me with a lot of uncertainy and seems scared. I started thinking about Marin's journey she has had here on earth and what a glorious trip it has been and will be until the end. I then started thinking about the journey that she will have in heaven. Of course she is feeling scared. No one close to her has ever died. She feels she is going to be alone. I have been telling her about her relatives that have gone on to heaven and how they will be wating to meet her. I'm sure they have a lot of stories for her about when I was a little girl, etc.The best comfort I think I have given her is as always, Marin needs a goal or a job to do. I started thinking about what Marin's job in heaven could be, an the answer is obvious. Marin has always been Camie's guardian angel here on earth. Since Camie was a little girl, Marin looked out for her to make sure she was happy, safe, learning, etc. She always wanted the best for Camie and rejoiced in every accomplishment Camie received. Marin is going to be Camie's "coach" or guardian angel. Just like she has looked out for her here, Marin can guide Camie and coach her through her life journey. I talked with Marin about this and she instantly seemed to have more peace. Now she has her goal and work cut out for her. Marin is probably swimming the final race of her life and, as always, fighting really hard. Her strength is truely amazing, as any Olympian's strength would be.I ask for your prayers once again to give us, including all of you, strength to try to live as Marin has. With awesome strength, courage, hope, happiness, and pride.Happy New Year and remember to love those close to your heart.
My goodness! No problem in my life could ever compare to this! Things in life are that. . . just things. Losing a business, money, house, car, or any other worldly possession can never compare to the loss of a child.
My kids are healthy. Bryan and I are still kicking - which is good at our age. I still have my parents, my sister and her wonderful family, and extended family and friends. So, life is good. I just have to remind myself of that sometimes. I visit the Caring Bridge site about once a week to check in. I can't possibly do this and come away without feeling a little bit more grateful for what I have.
I am praying for Marin's family as they prepare for her journey to heaven.
And, I am praying for a better year for all in 2009.
8 months ago